everything I wanted, wanted, wanted

By: Rora

Sep 04 2010

Category: Japan

1 Comment

It’s late. So late that I’m kind of hungry- you know that feeling? My apartment is quiet, save the soft noise of the fans and the rain (hurricane Earl, slightly!) outside. It’s my last night in this apartment, which is why I’m still awake- to savor it. This was a long week. I squeezed in every possible goodbye and made time for every possible nice moment. I’m almost, aaalmost, ready to go.

All week I have felt pulled in two opposing directions- super super impatient for my new life and super super clingy to my old life. I think my feelings are made slightly complicated by a few factors, mostly that I spent the past 5 months pretty sure I wasn’t going to Japan. But here I am. Confused? Here’s a little bit of my backstory.

About a year ago, I began the process of planning/applying/hoping to go to Japan to teach English. I applied to the JET Programme, and in April found out I was placed on the alternate list. My boyfriend was accepted into the program and a month ago he flew out to the island of Kyushu, where he works as an ALT (assistant language teacher) at a high school just outside of Fukuoka city. I hoped for an upgrade from JET, but meanwhile scrambled and brainstormed all sorts of other possible plans.

In the end my decision to go to Fukuoka really just came down to a whim (well, a whim after some other plans fell through). And I’m happy with this path- it’s what I have wanted for a year. Yet I still feel so simultaneously impatient and clingy when I only want to feel centered.

But I am ready. Well, almost ready. I’m not sure it’s possible to feel completely ready, ever, but I’ll do my best.


One comment on “everything I wanted, wanted, wanted”

  1. Go to the hot springs! I want to see the snow monkeys! And also because hot springs are rad.

    Or if I can get a paying job/vacation time I’ll come out there and we’ll go see the hot springs! I’d make you go regardless.

    I’m glad you are having fun, I can’t wait to hear all about the food and cool places. Mostly food, though.

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